As we progress through life, we tack on various roles to who we think we are or who we think we should be, and perhaps what society thinks we should be. Sometimes we become so attached to our roles that we forget who we truly are, within: caring, compassionate, creative, unique. We learn from our peers and our family what is appropriate and in our desire to fit in and please others, we adapt our behavior. We’ve been taught from such an early age that by the time we’ve reached adulthood, we’ve become so used to “playing the game”, many of us don’t even know we’re playing it.
Have you known people who have gone to college to study law, even practiced law for years until one day, they finally woke up to realize how empty they were, quit their job, and now, they do something entirely different? I know a guy who did this.
And what about these stay-at-home moms who raise the kids, cook, take care of the family, wash the clothes and put their hobbies and interests on hold till the kids are grown?
Now, personally, my second biggest dream is to work from my home, while raising my daughter and spending as much time with her and my mother (who lives next door) as I can. My biggest dream came true when I became pregnant with and had Hallie. Spending quantity and quality time with my family is #1 in my book and if I could pay the bills and put food on the table while staying home and spending time with them, I wouldn’t need anything else. Now, I am sort of doing that, sort of not. Living off my savings until I (1) start earning a paycheck again or (2) run out of savings, is not exactly a plan. But, for now, that’s how we are living and I’m just thankful I have savings . . . for now.
Do you have a dream? Are you working toward fulfilling that dream? I truly believe with all of my being that if we have a dream in our heart, we live and eat and breathe that dream, and we cannot remove it from our heart and mind, God put it there for a reason. We are to push ourselves toward reaching our dream until it is ours. We are each here for a purpose and we don’t have something in our heart and mind for years for no reason. For now, I’m working on a way to work from home. I have everything else I want/need, for now.
So, who are you? Deep down? Do you keep yourself hidden? The desires of your heart/mind sheltered? Buried even? Or have you forgotten them altogether? Some may ask, “What if you don’t know what you want to do?” I believe that at some point in our lives, we knew what we wanted. We made ourselves forget, because it’s easier to deal with. We want to go with the flow. We want to be there for others. We want to be loved and to not disappoint. But, honestly, if we bury the deepest desires of our hearts, we can not only hurt ourselves, but hurt those we love, as well, as the pain will come out in different areas of our lives, inflicting pain on others with our words or actions, just from our resentment of pushing down our desires.
Do you want to be a painter? A musician? A karate kid? An athlete? A pilot? A chef? An author? A poet? Go back to school? Is there something you’ve been wanting to do, or try, but you haven’t let yourself do it? What’s the reason you haven’t tried? You’ll never know if you can do it unless you try. I believe the best books are yet to be written. You can be the best at whatever you choose to be.
We need to stop denying our true selves. Drinking too much, eating too much, occupying your mind and your time with enough busy work or worrisome thoughts is not going to make your true self go away. These actions will only self-sabotage. Have you asked yourself what would happen if you did ____________? If you followed your heart and tried _________________, would you fall apart?
You might finally find that one thing that makes you more of who you are than you ever believed possible. You might find happiness. Don’t you think you deserve happiness? Life is always going to bring you unwelcome events that will cause depression, disappointment, anger, helplessness and what have you. However, it will also bring you utter and complete bliss if you allow your life to. I have bliss, and I’m working toward some more bliss. I’m going for it. You don’t have to be laid off or quit your job to go after your heart’s desire. You only need to make (I said “MAKE”) the time toward what you want. If that means getting up a little early every day or stay up a little later, then that’s what you do to go after what you want. Think about it.
Don’t get so attached to roles that you forget who you truly are inside. Let go of the labels that restrict you. Live more with your heart’s guidance. Let it lead you to great things. What expectations are you trying to live up to? Who are you and what does that mean to you? Take time now to write a list of qualities that define you. Later, we’ll take a look at how the qualities and roles on that list might keep you stuck.
Go out there and make it a fabulous Friday! It’s Friday! How can it not be fabulous? Love you guys! *hug*