We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties. -Oswald Chambers
I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that he didn’t trust me so much. – Mother Teresa
Today, we review OML Day 11: Everest – Scaling the Obstacles to Unity.
No matter how much we think we may relate to someone or mesh so well with this other person, there are always going to be differences. Differences of opinion, of feelings, of levels of understanding, of taste, of friends, of everything. We don’t always wind up wanting the same things. We don’t always see things the same way. We are human and there will always be miscommunication and misinterpretation.
In order to truly love someone, or care for another, whether it be a spouse, a parent, a child, friend, or business partner, we must learn to put that person before ourselves. We must learn to not be selfish and to consider the other’s feelings and desires if we want to further the relationship. This doesn’t mean they always come first, because if they care for you, they will choose to put you first, also. Compromise. It’s all about compromise, communication and selflessness. When it comes to relationships, we must learn these most valuable skills. They are difficult skills to attain, but who said relationships were ever easy? They will be some of the most difficult things we experience in life but also the most fulfilling, blissful things we could ever have in our lives. It’s what connects our humanness to our soul – love, forgiveness, unity, selflessness, compassion. Our soul envelopes them like a mother holds and protects a child. The soul yearns for these positive emotions.
There will always be conflict in any relationship. When you learn to compromise, you can then examine paths of communication to reach the result of an eventual meeting place – a meeting of the minds – a middle ground, where both people’s needs can be met. This means having your say, but better yet, more talent when it comes to listening to the other. This is not the easiest of tasks. If you want a relationship to work, however, it takes more than just you. Both people must have 100% commitment to the relationship and to the other person, or it is doomed to fail.
You must realize as you are fully capable of messing up and making mistakes, so is the other person in the relationship. Nobody is perfect. The sooner you realize this in the beginning or even before you have a relationship, the happier you’ll be in any relationship. Relationships are messy. Each one is like climbing a mountain.
A relationship, like that mountain, has steep, rugged places, where you must have good traction, a strong foothold, strong arms and balance, as well as the strength to pull your way up. Other places, you’ll reach an area where you can catch your breath, rest, even enjoy the scenery, smile and think about how far you’ve come, then you sometimes realize how much farther you have to go. Once you reach the top of that mountain, you can do anything. In a relationship with someone you cherish, you have to reach that place where you realize that, together, there’s nothing you cannot do.
You cannot always be the only strong one, but at times, you will be the only strong one and you must remain strong and encourage, and yes, sometimes push, the other to go on and not give up. When you feel you can’t take even one more step, ask for supernatural help. God is always waiting for you to ask for his help.
And, why is it we think we can change the other person? If I love him enough, he’ll change. If I help him, he’ll want to be better. That is the biggest misconception we humans have about relationships. If you don’t love them as they are at that very moment, and you cannot accept them for who and what they are, it won’t work later on. You must put it in your head that you cannot and you will not change anyone. You can only change yourself. That is the only power you have – the power to change you, and that’s it. You can sure pray for God to help that other person, but if that person doesn’t want to change, they won’t, no matter how much you pray. Perhaps a better prayer would be for God to change how you deal with that person and help you cope and accept that person. Then, maybe life can be a little easier for you. When you learn to accept other people, other people will accept you, and together, you can climb to the top of that mountain, together.
The last thing? Love . . . not only with words, but with action. You must express with words how you feel. It’s even more important to spend loving, quality time with those you hold close to your heart, if they are to truly understand the depth and sincerity of your love. You must do these things if you are to stay in your relationships and keep them from going stale, or worse, from burning out.
Hope you are making it a superb Sunday! Spring Break is coming to an end and I sure hope you have made the most of it. Hallie and I made some memories this week. We belly laughed, we played, we danced, we sang, we sweated and frolicked in the sun. We had many fun activities together and we shared our time with Mama and cousins and Aunts and Uncles and friends. What’s better than that?! Make it an awesome week. Love you guys! *hug* 😉