I’ve Lost It!

Has anyone seen my mind, lately?  I’ve gone and lost it again.  Can’t hang on to that thing to save my life!  Honestly. 

Well, that’s just it.  I plan to say those very words at the end of this self-challenge.  A challenge to rid myself of the junk in my trunk.  😉  I’ve gotten a bit too big for my britches and I’ve got to get down to where the rubber hits the road (the rubber of my sneakers, that is), take some action every single day – no – every single minute, since I love food and could be nibbling every minute if I allowed myself, and that’s part of the problem.  I’ve given myself permission to eat however many Girl Scout cookies I wanted, or chocolate (and I’m a severe Chocoholic!), or grilled cheese and turkey sandwiches, cooked in butter.  Oh, butter!  How I love butter!  I love to eat, ok?

I’ve been thinking of how and in what ways I could better myself.  What can I do to feel better?  Look better?  Look in the mirror and not cringe?  Have more energy?  Be healthier?  Live longer?  So many questions.  You get the idea.  I HATE dieting.  I HATE the idea of exercise, although there are some sports I love, like tennis, and I may have to take that up again.  I can play with my daughter, since it’s starting to warm up again, and she knows how to play.

So, my challenge is this:

Diet, starting upon waking tomorrow morning.  Exercise, starting tomorrow, after coffee.  Documenting my food intake – BLEGH!  Documenting my work-out regimen – GRRR!  ARGH!  Following all those little (and big – for now) numbers, like weight, size, etc.  *sniff*

As if that wasn’t crazy enough?  Wanna know the totally insane part?  I’ll be posting before, during and after pictures throughout the process.  I must be out of my mind if I’m willing to post gross, humiliating, fat pictures of myself.  Ok, most people tell me I’m a little overweight, not fat.  That might be true, but I feel fat.  I think what I see when I look in the mirror is not what everyone else sees.  I want to feel good about myself again.  I want to feel pretty again.  I halfway, sort of, used to feel pretty, and I want that back.  I do remember having tons of energy when I was thin.  I want the single digits back. 

I gained over 60 lbs while pregnant with Hallie.  After she was born and while nursing her during the first 8 months, I lost about 32 of that poundage.  Well, I won’t bore you with how much of that I put back on over the years, and now she’s 11 and I feel frumpy.  I want to be a hot-mama.  😉  So, I’m going to work on it.  I’m going to do it.  And, I hope you can send some inspiration my way.  Throw me a bone?  A little encouragement?

Let me warn you:  I may do some venting, complaining, whining, maybe even crying.  I’ll try not to curse.  I’m a mom and I want to be better at it.  I want to be a good influence.  I’m really trying to work on my anger management.  I have issues.  I’m trying not to yell.  Not to cuss.  I don’t know how well that, combined with my diet and exercise, is going to work out.  We’ll just have to see, won’t we?

So, hang out with me.  Sit a spell, or better yet, get your buns up and join me, and let us get our rears in gear, together! 



About Carol B Sessums

Writer, Editor, Coffee Addict, Lover of Mountains. Lives to shrink the planet, one story and connection at a time.
This entry was posted in Body, Mind and Soul, Self-help, Self-improvement, Weight Loss and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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